Ever since I've starting getting an increasing number of hits through Google searches I've developed a new hobby kind of thing: copying the search keywords people have used so that I can see where I am in the searches. It's quite exciting, but a bit sad. Searching for "best fucking christmas ecard" will see me appear on page 3 (page 3 - teeheehee!). I don't know why you'd be searching for that, let alone scouring through several pages of results, but there you go.
"Bt advert cast 2007" does a bit better - I'm the second result. I quite like the little sampler that comes up too: "Cast your vote! Vote for PASTA, you mindless consumer drones. Watch. What next, David Cameron appearing in an advert for big bags of heroin?" That should draw people in. If they're searching for totally perverse things like "bt advert cast 2007". The freaks.
I'm pretty pleased with my placing for "gary barlow weblog" - I'm the fourth result, right under a BBC website. Go me. I'm the first - first! - result for "satanic christmas e-cards" of all things, and third for "satanic e-cards". Why people are searching for such things I do not know. Search for "advert ocean finance pool" and I appear in both second and third place for some reason. I'm third and fourth for "astrologist justin topper". Search for both "mars advert (lights turning on)" and "mars light advert" and I'm at the top.
I've already mentioned the whole "gays are evil" thing below, but additionally, my other blog, Voicewatch is on the first page of results for "zoos are evil". As with the whole "gays are evil" thing, the little sample sadly makes me out to be a rabid homophobe: "Evil Gays Defile Zoo - Those gays have a fucking nerve, eh? Not only do they perform sinful acts with each other, they - get this - have parties in zoos as..." Lamentably you have to click on the link to realise that I'm taking the piss.
So that's my latest obsession. It could be worse I suppose, at least I've not started collecting model trains. Or making matchstick models. Or kneecapping innocent people. Because all of those things would be bad.
"Bt advert cast 2007" does a bit better - I'm the second result. I quite like the little sampler that comes up too: "Cast your vote! Vote for PASTA, you mindless consumer drones. Watch. What next, David Cameron appearing in an advert for big bags of heroin?" That should draw people in. If they're searching for totally perverse things like "bt advert cast 2007". The freaks.
I'm pretty pleased with my placing for "gary barlow weblog" - I'm the fourth result, right under a BBC website. Go me. I'm the first - first! - result for "satanic christmas e-cards" of all things, and third for "satanic e-cards". Why people are searching for such things I do not know. Search for "advert ocean finance pool" and I appear in both second and third place for some reason. I'm third and fourth for "astrologist justin topper". Search for both "mars advert (lights turning on)" and "mars light advert" and I'm at the top.
I've already mentioned the whole "gays are evil" thing below, but additionally, my other blog, Voicewatch is on the first page of results for "zoos are evil". As with the whole "gays are evil" thing, the little sample sadly makes me out to be a rabid homophobe: "Evil Gays Defile Zoo - Those gays have a fucking nerve, eh? Not only do they perform sinful acts with each other, they - get this - have parties in zoos as..." Lamentably you have to click on the link to realise that I'm taking the piss.
So that's my latest obsession. It could be worse I suppose, at least I've not started collecting model trains. Or making matchstick models. Or kneecapping innocent people. Because all of those things would be bad.
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2 comments:
I won't stop until I usurp 'boardreader.com' and claim number one spot for 'free battle vixens hentai'.
Though I should be content with my position for 'Broken DS Lite left hinge'! I am sure Nintendo is planning my press assassination...
(<_<) (>_>)
Those are both pretty impressive. Particularly like the "Broken DS Lite left hinge" one.
I quite like the fact that this whole thing is dangerously close to jumping the shark - writing blog posts about Google results for blog posts.
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