Some exchanges

In a shop:

MAN: Five pounds of top-up please.

SHOP GUY: That'll be five pounds please.

No shit.

On the Wall of the Facebook group "Jeremy Clarkson should be Prime Minister":

Alex Camponi:
Jez is the man. He can have my sister - and she's fit too

Greg Coward:
u just called ur sister fit?

I fear for humanity.