That's What I'm Talkin' About!

My exams are over, and so is The Apprentice 2008. I have my degree and Lee's the apprentice. As the Leicester Mercury put it, 'Amstrad's gain is porn's loss' (?).

But something Lucidna said way back in the advertising task has become massively pertinent.


Remember the bit where Lucinda was coming up with 'off the wall' ideas for the advertising campaign? I was a bit concerned about what she was going to say.

"If we're looking at shock tactics, and it's probably uncomfortable to some, but it's going to come up more and more and more..."

Shit, I thought. 'Tissue 9/11'. She's going to say 'tissue 9/11'. Oh God, please don't say 'tissue 9/11.'

She continued: "...And [what's] become stronger and stronger and stronger, as it should do, is homosexuality. And people would be talking about that advert."

Thank fuck, I thought, she didn't say 'tissue 9/11'.

But roll on a few weeks...

Heinz mayonnaise advert with two men kissing set to become most complained of the year
Heinz pulls ad showing men kissing
Gaydar Radio calls for boycott after 'men kissing' ad pulled

Byebye 3.6 million consumers! Didn't think that through did you Lucinda? You silly dick.

The offending ad:



And that's it. No more Apprentice this year. But there's always next year, and Raef might even get a chat show in the meantime, which will be nice... I guess?

The Apprentice

Yesterday saw the beginning of a new series of The Apprentice on BBC1, which for those of you who've been trapped inside a box (or just watch ITV all the time, in which case: what the fuck is wrong with you?) is a reality-ish show where several aspiring business people compete for the chance to be the apprentice of successful business-guy Sir Alan Sugar.

First up for the boot was prize cunt Nicholas de Lacy-Brown (he pinched the 'de Lacy' bit from his grandmother, apparently in a bid to make people aware that he's an ostentatious twat before they even meet him). This video does a more than adequate job of demonstrating what an utter prick the man is:



What's that Nick? You're a barrister? With legal qualifications? You kept that quiet didn't you? Never would have guessed. Ugh.

Here's some more evidence of his cunthood from the opening of the biography on his website:

It was Virgil who stated in his Ecologues: ‘Non omnia possumus omnes’ (We can’t all do everything), a statement which many have been happy to oblige. In Nicholas de Lacy-Brown however, there lies a man who is prepared to question such apathy. Undoubtedly a man of many talents, he has lived his short twenty-four years with a vivacity and boldness which few could achieve in a lifetime.

What. A. Twat.