More Amanda Platell

I'm back at home for the Easter holiday, which means I'm stuck with the Daily Mail for five weeks. Anyway, today Amanda's sticking up for Delia Smith:

BBC chef Simon Rimmer attacks Delia Smith for using frozen mash potato in her quick shepherd's pie.

"It's the easiest thing in the world," he says, "just boil the spuds, drain them and mash with butter."

Yes, Simon, and who buys the spuds and lugs them home in the first place and who peels them?

[continues...]

I don't know Amanda, but given that he's the professional cook in the household I imagine it might be him. After all, if he let his wife go out to get the potatoes for the mash she'd probably end up buying ones meant for chipping, the daft cow. Women, eh?

Oh, and Amanda? Most people don't 'lug' their potatoes home, they put them in the sodding car and drive them back, you pillock. Have you spent your whole life dragging sacks of potatoes down the street Amanda? Have you? Do you arrive back at the house at 8PM, exhausted, your irate husband waiting for his tea? Does he get angry, Amanda? Does he beat you? Yes? Good. All is well.

White

So it looks like the BBC are starting to get a bit worried that, y'know, maybe the Daily Mail's been right all along and, like, the BBC really is, like, all left-wing and PC and that. Thus in an apparent attempt to appease all those Daily Mail sorts, they've come up with a new 'White' season, based around the question 'Is white working class Britain becoming invisible?'.

And as if expressing that question through words isn't enough, their website also expresses it with a lovely image:


It's like, OMG, all those evil darkies have, like, drawn on that guy's face. Or something.

But, alas, the BBC haven't managed to please everyone. Daily Mail columnist Amanda Platell isn't happy:

A new TV series aims to give a voice to the "forgotten" working class.

I long for the day a similar treatise is aired on the forgotten middle class - who've been bled dry by Labour, held in contempt by the BBC and mocked by the liberal elite, while providing the backbone of this nation's success. Don't hold your breath.

Imagine if the BBC did do a series of programmes on the white middle class though. If all middle class people are like the twats on the Daily Mail website then they'd probably end up with drama programmes looking like this:

[A MAN is stood in a room]

MAN: Look at me! I'm a white middle man and I'm so hard fucking done by! Boo twatting hoo, everyone hates me and I'm such a victim! Waa! Waa!

[The MAN gracelessly flops to the floor and begins to beat it with his fists, all the while shrieking like a six-month old child]

Yeah, looks shit doesn't it? Perhaps, instead of coming up with shite ideas for TV, Amanda should occupy herself with something more constructive like, I dunno, toppling down a set of stairs while I watch from the top, a cold gleam in my eye, watch her her tumble like a ragdoll until she lies still at the bottom, her neck broken, her eyes glazed and dead. I don't like Amanda Platell. Can you tell?