Odd

By far the strangest thing I've come across this week is Duel Love, a Nintendo DS game that's just come out in Japan. I was innocently looking through an e-mail newsletter from a import game site when I suddenly went "what the fuck is that?" and ended up doing a bit of investigation which led to this post.


Duel Love is essentially a dating simulator for girls with a bit of a twist. Basically you play the role of an exchange student who finds out on her first day at her new school that the school, in fact, contains a secret fight club, where the apparently anorexic male students of said school engage in ill-advised boxing matches. By supporting one of the boys you help him get through the fights. According to the blurb, "a girl in love is truly the goddess of victory". If you say so.

The game includes a pretty subnormal selection of mini-games. Here's a diagram of one:


In this minigame you wipe away sweat. As you do. Fuck knows what's going on with that facial expression in the last picture. Honestly, video games these days. Filth.

Here's another:


Apparently the aim is to blow into the DS's microphone to make the steam go away. Um... yeah.

And one final one:


What with not eating and that, the boys bruise easily. I mean maybe it'd help if they, like, didn't go around beating the shit out of either other - honestly, anorexic boys these days! In any case, this particular minigame would appear to be futile - those bruises will never heal. At least not unless he starts eating again, anyway.

Fodder for sexually frustrated teenage Japanese girls then. Except, oddly, one the of main characters seems to be an actual proper child. That or a midget. Look:


Seriously, what the fuck? Even the character profile thing uses the word 'BOY' for some reason:


H... Hello? Is... is there anybody there? Am I the only sane person in a world gone mad? Hello? Hello?!