Yet More Jonathan

More news on the Jonathan Cainer front (for those not in the know, I suspect him of having an evil plot to take over the world, see here and here). Anyway, I was in a pub and noticed a copy of the world's great newspaper (if you're a Nazi), the Daily Mail. Flicking over to Cainer's horoscopes section I noticed the following:

Historic heads of state have openly asked astrologers when to start campaigns. In recent times, though, prime ministers and presidents have had to hold clandestine consultations. In the Eighties, for example, the Gorbachev-Reagan summits were timed to tie in with major planetary alignments. These were a great success, but when the truth about the cosmic connection came out, Reagan was embarrassed.
Great leaders, though, still like to know what their stars say. On Friday, I advised Gordon Brown against an election. On Saturday, he dropped the idea. Gordon, if you're reading, I'll give you more advice tomorrow.

So Cainer is already giving 'advice' to Gordon Brown. If we assume the worst (life's more interesting that way), Gordon Brown has been brainwashed by some kind of evil mind-machine and Cainer is now calling the shots. Cainer now has the keys to the UK. The world is doomed!