I kind of thought that Britain, although flawed, was a reasonably nice place to live. I mean someone stole a parcel out of my front yard last week, but at least I don't get bombed/raped/stabbed every time I leave the house.
But anyway, apparently I've been wrong about Britain. It turns out we're living in a 'nation of pain' populated by evil sinners with 'a Government in rebellion'. People don't take marriage seriously, children are encouraged to be sexually promiscuous, everyone is drowning in a sea of crime, the walls in our hospitals are smeared with the shit of the damned and (gasp!) there are men who do it with each other! Where did I uncover this terrible reality? The website of Christian Voice, a not-at-all-unreasonable-oh-no Christian group who think that everything has gone wrong.
Thing is, everything hasn't gone wrong and pretty much everything that Christian Voice says is a big bag of shite. Now, Christian Voice have a pet hate, and that pet hate is gay people, or 'homosexuals' as they unceasingly refer to them. And if there's one thing that they hate more than 'homosexuals', it's 'homosexuals' in a zoo. Thus when London Zoo held a 'Gay Sunday' event, Christian Voice (or 'CV' as I will now refer to them, as I'm sick of typing out their name) 'condemned' the event.
There were a number of perks to attending the event, including access to various bits and pieces of the zoo, a live band, etc. But the perk that really riled CV was what they described as 'a staggering 20% discount'. Yes, a 'staggering' discount. Let's look up the word 'staggering' in the OED, shall we? Here we are: "lit. Reeling, tottering, etc". It saddens me that there is someone in the world who is actually left reeling - reeling - by the fact that some people have got a 20% discount. It's twenty fucking percent! They save £1.45. You could only buy, I don't know, a solitary grain of really pure heroin with that. It's nothing. Nothing.
Stephen Green, National Director of CV wasn't happy with this:
There were also a number of pictures with captions that amused me. They speak for themselves:
Nice. If you want to read the whole thing you can find it here: link, although I've already taken the piss out of all the funny bits so you'll probably just find it faintly depressing. Ho hum.
But anyway, apparently I've been wrong about Britain. It turns out we're living in a 'nation of pain' populated by evil sinners with 'a Government in rebellion'. People don't take marriage seriously, children are encouraged to be sexually promiscuous, everyone is drowning in a sea of crime, the walls in our hospitals are smeared with the shit of the damned and (gasp!) there are men who do it with each other! Where did I uncover this terrible reality? The website of Christian Voice, a not-at-all-unreasonable-oh-no Christian group who think that everything has gone wrong.
Thing is, everything hasn't gone wrong and pretty much everything that Christian Voice says is a big bag of shite. Now, Christian Voice have a pet hate, and that pet hate is gay people, or 'homosexuals' as they unceasingly refer to them. And if there's one thing that they hate more than 'homosexuals', it's 'homosexuals' in a zoo. Thus when London Zoo held a 'Gay Sunday' event, Christian Voice (or 'CV' as I will now refer to them, as I'm sick of typing out their name) 'condemned' the event.
There were a number of perks to attending the event, including access to various bits and pieces of the zoo, a live band, etc. But the perk that really riled CV was what they described as 'a staggering 20% discount'. Yes, a 'staggering' discount. Let's look up the word 'staggering' in the OED, shall we? Here we are: "lit. Reeling, tottering, etc". It saddens me that there is someone in the world who is actually left reeling - reeling - by the fact that some people have got a 20% discount. It's twenty fucking percent! They save £1.45. You could only buy, I don't know, a solitary grain of really pure heroin with that. It's nothing. Nothing.
Stephen Green, National Director of CV wasn't happy with this:
"Incredibly, by paying less, the gays got more. The ordinary punter didn't have an exclusive garden party or a barbecue - they had to queue for their overpriced food and drink with everyone else."Serves them fucking right for not liking cock. Additionally, I'm amused at the use of the word 'incredibly', as if this were the most shocking thing on Earth, and not just some gays (oh, sorry, 'homosexuals') having an event at a zoo. Gays in a zoo? End of the world as we know it.
There were also a number of pictures with captions that amused me. They speak for themselves:
Nice. If you want to read the whole thing you can find it here: link, although I've already taken the piss out of all the funny bits so you'll probably just find it faintly depressing. Ho hum.
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