If you cast your minds back to this post, you'll remember that I suspect astrologer Jonathan Cainer of having an evil plan to take over the Earth. Well apparently Cainer is taking his plan to the next level.
A week ago Jonathan stated in his 'Thought for the Day' that "next week, I will have a special announcement to make about a momentous change in the celestial situation". Apparently it was the calm before the storm and "we might consider it the grand finale before the new and gentle dawning of a different era". An era where you reign supreme over the entire world Cainer, you evil star-gazing freak? He continues: "Soon, whether we choose it or not, we will find that change comes into all our lives. That’s something to embrace, not fear". Speak for yourself Jonathan, I'm terrified - because you're going to enslave me!
A few days later I came across this disturbing letter:
At the moment Cainer is in the Middle East, visiting historic sites whilst researching his book on "a powerful ancient prophecy". Does this ancient prophecy mention anything about a well-known astrologer gaining dominion o'er the Earth, perhaps?
I'm worried. I don't know exactly how Jonathan intends to take over our minds. But he's going to do it, and he's going to do it soon. Lock your doors - otherwise... um... he might come into your house at night and rummage around your cutlery draws... perhaps.
A week ago Jonathan stated in his 'Thought for the Day' that "next week, I will have a special announcement to make about a momentous change in the celestial situation". Apparently it was the calm before the storm and "we might consider it the grand finale before the new and gentle dawning of a different era". An era where you reign supreme over the entire world Cainer, you evil star-gazing freak? He continues: "Soon, whether we choose it or not, we will find that change comes into all our lives. That’s something to embrace, not fear". Speak for yourself Jonathan, I'm terrified - because you're going to enslave me!
A few days later I came across this disturbing letter:
Hi Jonathan,You'll have realised by now that, of course, these 'vital changes' post-2012 are moot points because by this time Cainer will have us all under his evil thrall and we'll be too docile to care. Perhaps the vital changes in 2012 and 2017 will involve some sort of ethnic cleansing - it takes time to build death-camps after all.
My friend, who is very spiritual, constantly refers to the great change which is going to happen later this month when the Earth moves into the fourth dimension. I have not had a coherent explanation of what that really means. Do you have any insights you can share?
Freddie
They say we will enter the fifth dimension in 2012. I suppose it makes sense to visit the fourth first. At that rate, we'll be ready for the sixth in about 2017. Whether any of us will notice that these vital changes have occurred, though... is a moot point.
At the moment Cainer is in the Middle East, visiting historic sites whilst researching his book on "a powerful ancient prophecy". Does this ancient prophecy mention anything about a well-known astrologer gaining dominion o'er the Earth, perhaps?
I'm worried. I don't know exactly how Jonathan intends to take over our minds. But he's going to do it, and he's going to do it soon. Lock your doors - otherwise... um... he might come into your house at night and rummage around your cutlery draws... perhaps.
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