Spam Goes All Mystic Meg

I've started getting spam e-mails which are either crazy predictions of things that may happen, or are actually spam e-mails from the future!

Afghan bombing kills President Bush
Elton John dies in rocket ship
Yahoo search shuts down for good
Cute dogs massacred in Texas
Girl takes down five guys

That's some crazy future. Although the last one might be porn. Maybe. I don't know.